Wow, can you believe we've made it to the half-way point in our wait for a referral? I thought the waiting would get easier each month, but to my surprise, it's getting harder and harder. Oh, and my earlier post about how I was excited to have the distraction of orientation at work to occupy my thoughts and help the wait go faster?? TOTALLY NOT WORKING!! :) If anything, working up there has had the opposite effect on me. I work around babies all day, so that's all I think about at work. Everyone at work is talking about the babies they are taking care of all day, about 4 or 5 nurses are starting to come back from maternity leaves, so people are talking about their babies, there are three or four pregnant people working on the floor right now, etc.... You get the picture. Every time I watch tv, there are commercials with babies in them, there are babies and pregnant women at the store, mall..I could go on forever. ;) A lot of people don't understand my waiting intolerance. They say, "Yeah, but you've only been waiting since Feb. right?" Sadly, no. In fact, Monday marks our 6 year anniversary of when we first started trying to get pregnant (it also happens to be our 6-year wedding anniversary). Granted, we were not trying fertility treatments yet at that time, and there was the 2004 year from hell when Eric got laid off twice, but it still feels like an eternity has passed. The major fertility treatments didn't start until a year ago, but we had tried EVERYTHING up until then. I am amazed at how much time has passed, and how Eric and I have managed to stay positive and know that our dream of a familiy would come true one day.
So, I'll quit my pouting for now. I can clearly wait a long time if I need to, so a few more months is not going to kill me. ;) I have been having a lot of dreams lately that we've gotten a referral for a baby boy, so I should translate my nervous energy into keeping a dream journal. Maybe some of them will come true........
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3 comments:
Your dreams will come true Leah. As a fellow waiter I can tell you it does get easier. I almost quit my job last year because I couldn't take all the babies and pregnant people anymore. My "therapy" for when I hit the wall with this wait is shopping;) Call me anytime if you want to get together for coffee or something. Ingrid
Oh I feel you. Hang in there. I would love to tell you that I have found the wait easier as the time passes but it is hard. Ice cream is my trick :) Who knew you could gain weight and not be pregant??
Sending happy thoughts and sunshine your way!
Leah, I just came across your blog and this entry really touched me. It is clear what a hard journey you have had to forming your family. We just brought our daughter home 2 weeks ago, and I just want you to know that adoption is a miracle. The wait is so hard, and it gets harder and harder, but your baby will be with you soon and you will be forever in love.
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